Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Michelle Obama, What Hast Thou Wrought
This is actually a blog I posted on MySpace page (back when I had MySpace) shortly after the infamous on-stage fist bump between now President Obama and his wife Michelle. But after seeing yet another pair of douchey frat boys at the gym fist bump I felt like re-posting it here. Since Michelle and Barack Obama connected this way on stage, I am now noticing friends bumping fists all over the place. If you thought hugs were too mushy and you worry about germs with the hand shake (and optional shoulder bump and other hand on the back), well, now you have a completely unaffectionate and relatively germ free way of showing your friend how little, er, how much you care!
Seriously though, I just find it so disingenuous and I'm not sure why. High fives are dumb enough. I especially love seeing people give them to each other at sporting events when their team scores a run/goal/touchdown, etc. I always think to myself, "wait, did YOU score a goal?" "Did your friend drive in the run?" No. But give your buddy a high five anyway since the both of you did a great job sitting on your fat asses drinking beer and shoveling hot dogs and nachos in while 'your team' did all the work. Maybe the triumph was willing yourself out of your seat the moment the ball went over the fence.
But I digress. Back to the fist bump. I was at the gym the other day when two guys laughed at something one of them said and the other one pulled his fist up. Now, apparently the other guy isn't hip to this new form of contact because he did not reciprocate. Yeah, egg on the other guys face as he sheepishly lowered his unbumped fist. That's when I knew I wanted to write about this since this was like the tenth time I had seen this over the last few weeks (though it was the first one that I saw that failed completion, which I rather enjoyed).
It wasn't a moment later that I turned around and another pair (a guy and girl) noticed each other across the room and as they approached one another bumped fists! The best part of this interaction was the third person feeling left out. See, these two guys work out together at the gym all the time. One is in his thirties: tall, tanned, lean, good looking. The other one is in his 40s: short, a bit stocky, receding hairline with noticeable gray, longer in the back (ouch) and always sort of slicked back and wet. So, pretty much gross. The girl that came up was blonde, tanned, very trim and cute (in a sorority girl sort of way).
Now, the first guy was the one she bumped fists with and you could tell as soon as it happened that the older guy was desperate to bump fists with her too. Unfortunately for him, the girl hardly gave him a second glance (even though I've seen these three interact before). But he just needed to be part of the action so badly. So what did he do? He bumped his fist lightly into her stomach! What a loser, lol. I mean c'mon. The first bump is dumb enough. And it's certainly awkward when only one in the party knows to do it. But when you get passed by on a fist bump, let it go! The stomach fist bump was just embarrassing... but wholly entertaining, nonetheless.
Anyway, what is my point? I guess I just find it fascinating how much people are lemmings. They see something new and they have to do it. Was Michelle Obama the first person to do a fist bump? Of course not. But she did it with a vast audience watching (many of whom might not have seen it before or felt they weren't 'cool enough' to pull it off until now). Well, I am officially deeming douchey gym rats not cool enough to fist bump. Too bad my condemnation means squat, haha.
