Thursday, September 3, 2009
Bindi Irwin Must Be Stopped!
When crazed conservationalist and hopped-up animal lover Steve Irwin died I can't say I was destroyed. I mean, it's a young life ended, which is almost always a tragedy, don't get me wrong. And leaving behind a wife and two young children is most definitely awful. But to know the man who seemed to get his rocks off on giddily taunting alligators would not be appearing on TV anymore wasn't entirely unwelcome. What I didn't know... what I could never have imagined, is that his legacy would live on, in an even more annoying, pint-size package: his freakishly adult-acting, annoying little daughter Bindi. 
Now normally I don't make fun of children. They are generally cute, energetic and basically harmless little creatures (when they aren't crying or whining about something or doing something so repetitive it drives you utterly crazy). Where I start to have a problem is when they think they are, and act like, adults. Or so they think. The problem with children who think their experiences belie their age is that they are flat out wrong, not to mention highly annoying. That there are anti-Bindi Facebook groups such as 'Bindi Irwin Is Annoying As Hell' and 'Bindi Irwin Is The Antichrist' doesn't surprise me all that much. The girl is frightening energetic and mugs for the camera to such a overwhelming degree that you almost imagine her squealing with delight when her dad died so that she could begin her quest for world domination.
I've been able to pretty easily avoid little Bindi for the most part but her appearance on the Daytime Emmys (don't ask) was ridiculous. She came out with two other actors (I have no idea who they were) and the man started talking. Well Bindi, who was on a little stool to make her the same height at the other two, was absolutely bursting at the seems, her head turning in whiplash speed to the man and back to the monitor, her eyes filled with demented glee as she laid in wait, like a little animal, waiting to pounce on the dialogue she had no doubt practiced all day. When she finally got her moment she blurted the first line out and then paused as she had to catch the monitor again to remember the next one. It wasn't cute. I t wasn't adorable. It was, well, annoying as hell. Oh, and they also said "Bindi Irwin, star of Bindi: The Jungle Girl" before she came out. Holy smokes, I had no idea they gave her her own show! It drove me to an unimaginable thought...that somehow Steve Irwin was still alive and still had his little daughter under wraps (although I have a feeling she'd be angling for the camera just as passionately if he were still around.)
