Sunday, April 25, 2010
God Still Apparently Hates Me
I was watching Larry King Live the other night. I generally find Larry to be an annoying, under prepared, boorish, well-past-his-prime interviewer and a few nights before, his episode on bullying with Bill Cosby was the height of awkwardness and disinterest on his part. The man has admitted to purposely not over preparing for interviews because he wants it to be fresh, but his inability to listen to guests creates an awkward interview when he doesn't go logically where you think he should go. Anyway, this blog entry doesn't really have to do with Larry King or his interviewing skills (though he was actually engaged and on target this particular night). I just tend to be opinionated and thought I'd mention mine on old Larry, haha.Anyway, the topic this particular night was being gay and being religious and whether the two are mutually exclusive. Dove Award-winning Christian artist Jennifer Knapp was on to discuss her coming out as a lesbian. I've heard of Jennifer but wasn't familiar with her music and didn't honestly know a thing about her. From 1999-2001 she sold over a million copies of her first three CDs, winning Dove Awards for Best New Artist and Best Rock Song, was nominated for a Grammy and then later took a break from music and moved to Australia with her girlfriend, who she met in 2002. She has a new album coming out in May after having her love of music being rekindled but thought it was important to be truthful about who she was since she was stepping back into the public eye. I found her to be smart, interesting and articulate. After an opening segment with Jennifer, she was then joined by Pastor Bob Buford who quickly expressed his disappointment and concern for Jennifer's "sinful situation" and her "choice" to be gay. He informed Jennifer, Larry and the viewers that “we shouldn’t make decisions based on feelings, we should make decisions based on facts.” Um, ok. This, as it turns out, was just the beginning in a long line of dumb things Pastor Bob's would say. After listening to this man's continued blather and fear mongering I was so hot... livid.
Jennifer brought up the conversation that the Bible has been translated from Greek and some words have no equivalent to the languages they were translated into and were given different meanings. I've seen a number of programs that discuss this as well; (The Bible verse, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." (Leviticus 18:22) is the basis for the church's condemnation of homosexuality. But the term "abomination" did not mean what it does now. In fact, though this wasn't discussed on the show, that Bible passage doesn't refer to the act of sex between two homosexual men at all. One of the common practices at the time were for the heterosexual priests of Moloch to dress up as women as part of their rituals and have sex with men who came to worship. Hence the prohibition of laying with men as with women - it was part of the religious worship, not with other men as in natural homosexuality.
Larry was smart to ask the pastor if he ate shellfish, which Bob quickly admitted to (since Leviticus goes on to condemn anyone who eats pork, lobster, shellfish, mixes fibers in clothing, trims their beard, or has sex during a women's menstrual period.) Bob's response? That God changed his mind about shellfish. LOL. He also went on to say that the entire Old Testament is not really applicable or to be taken literally. Um, news to me! Didn't Bob just tell me that the Bible in the inspired word of God? Larry also asked the pastor how he knew he was attracted to women... Why he made that choice. Bob said he just knew. Larry wondered why it was so hard to believe that a gay person would feel the same way. I really was proud of old Larry.
Jennifer also asked Bob why her sin is worse than other sins, since the Bible clearly states that all sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord. Why can’t she be the one condemning HIM on national television, she asks. Well, Bob didn't seem to have a clear answer to that one but basically said that since Jennifer knew this was a sin but decided to continue to live the life she is living that her sin is somehow worse than any he could commit. Ah, good old passing judgment! It's something the church does so well until they are called out on it and then say, "oh... well... God is the ultimate judge." Well then, shouldn't you live by those words and not use fear mongering and judgment to divide people and turn them away from God?
Jennifer continually came across as sweet, diplomatic and peaceful, even saying that she respected the work Pastor Buford has done to bring people to God. Pastor Buford had no such reciprocation of God's love for Knapp. He drove me mad with his small-minded, ignorant hate speech in the guise of the concerned representative of Jesus Christ who is trying to prevent gays from burning in hell fire for the "choice" they have made to turn away from God, saying that you simply CAN'T be gay and be a believer. It drove me absolutely crazy! How ironic that it took the ridiculous inclusion of Ted Haggard in the night's debate to remind the pastor that God is love and love's us all despite our shortcomings and sin. I'll never understand how any religious leader thinks they are speaking on God's behalf by judging and condemning people. I'd like to think Buford will look back on the night and feel embarrassed that he was shown up and schooled by Ted Haggard.
After Pastor Bob had been given the smackdown by Knapp, King and Haggard, he relented, saying, "let’s just open up our arms of grace and welcome Jen back into our community" which warranted the priceless response from Jennifer: "When was I gone? Where did I go? Because I wasn’t in YOUR church?" All he could muster was "Well for eight years in Australia –." Wow, bright thinking pastor. I just found him to be so arrogant and judgmental.
So why did this get me so worked up? Because I am gay and I am a believer and I am just getting SO sick and tired of being told I am less than for the person I am. The argument that gay people make the choice to be gay is the cornerstone of the church's point of view, aside from the "interpretation" of select vague Bible verses that unbiased scholars have proven do not apply to homosexuality. I know in my heart that God made me this way. I know because for many years I prayed, even begged God to change my feelings. Why would anyone CHOOSE to be gay? To run the risk of alienating your friends and family, to be made fun or ridiculed, to be beat up or even killed. To be looked at as a second class citizen by your own country, unable to marry the person you love, unable to easily have children of your own. It makes no sense at all.
When you take that out of the equation, which, I'm sorry, you have to, suddenly there is no grounds for judgment. God made me this way. To say otherwise is to admit God makes mistakes and that is something I know the church would not agree with. Being gay does not define my life. I don't advertise it. I don't wear makeup and snap my fingers when I talk. I don't go on national TV and tell people their views prevent them from receiving God's love. But I am not ashamed or embarrassed about who I am. I thank God he finally showed me that I have to accept how he made me and that he wants me to be happy. The only choice I had to make was to accept that.
I have never felt compelled in the year I have had this blog to just come out on here and say that I am gay until I watched that show. To watch this man who say he represents God sit and tell another Christian who has certainly brought many people to Christ herself and will probably bring even more by standing up and saying who she is just made me so upset. It's the height of hypocrisy and it flies in the face of all I have been taught regarding who God is. We aren't here to judge one another. I don't judge people for the things they do that I don't agree with, As long we aren't intentionally hurting people with the choices we make, I don't see how the decisions we make affect the lives of others, especially strangers. I just wish everyone could see that.
